She will never know of my shades
by 1 FANtastic
Summary: Simply because you asked for it. ITS NO LONGER A ONE SHOT. Picks up after the coffee date in book one. Ana loses her memory. Give it a try.
1. Chapter 1

Apov

I find myself both dazed and confused by my little coffee date with Christian. It's still so much I want to ask him, I just can't seem to find the courage. However there is a simple question that has been on my mind since we've met.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Okay. maybe I shouldn't have blurted it out the way I did. That doesn't change the fact I asked a very important question. He chuckles a little to himself.

"No. I don't do the girlfriend thing Anastasia." Huh? Just when I thought I would get a straight forward answer , he goes and throws a curve ball. What on earth could he possible mean? I'm pulled to a man I know nothing about. It scares me to be so close to him, yet so far. I have to get away.I begin to walk across the street only to be pulled back by Christian. As he pulls me close to him a car goes racing by.

"Anastasia Are you alright?" That's a stupid question to ask. I could have been hit by a car and possible dead, it's safe to say I am not alright. Of course none of that matters because Chriatian has me pressed to his chest like a cherised keepsake. I want to live in this moment; wraped in his arms for the rest of my days. I need to feel his lips, I want him to claim my mouth as his. It's no mistaken that I want to be kissed, I think I make it pretty clear. I wait for what seems like hours for anything from Christian. Instead he denies me with a little shake of his head.

"Anastasia, I'm not the man for you. You should stay clear of me." I hear him talking to me,I know I should be listening, I just can't get over his rejection which is all I seem to hear in head. He doesn't want me, I was stupid enough to think he did. He slowly places me back on my feet before slighlty pushing me away.I need to say somenthing. What do you say to someone who just rejected you?

"Thank you." Yes Ana that's what you should say. I want to face palm myself. He looks confused.

"What are you thanking me for?" That's a good question, What am I thanking him for?

"For saving me, I could have lost my life." Yes he saved me, from the car and appearantly from him.

"Please Anastasia, you don't have to thank me for saving your life. I would do it again if I had to" Of course he would say something nice after he hurt me, I need to get looking I turn briskly walking into the middle of a group of cyclist. I feel the medal frames of more than one bicycle, with the weight of bodies throwing me down. I feel the hard pavement collide with my head. I see Christian Grey before I'm taken over by darkness.

Cpov

As I lean over Anastasia I try to wake her. Everything happened so fast; I was holding Anastasia one minute then pushing her away the next. I knew she wanted me to kiss her, I realized at that moment just how innocent she really was. She wants a fairy tale type of love, where two people kiss in the middle of the street without a care in the world. Sadly, I can't be that for her, yet strangley I wish I could. I didn't want to reject her,I had to. She looked so confused when I denied her. I could tell she wanted to get away from me as soon as possible. I closed my eyes briefly to spare myself the pain of watching her leave, thats when it happened. I need her to open her eyes, I need to see the most beautiful shade of blue I've ever seen. a crowd starts to form and I notice an ambulance coming. The EMT ask some questions about what happened before placing Anastasia on a stretcher. The ride to the hospital is quick, Thank god! Anastasia is still out cold. The doctors wouldn't let me know anything since I wasn't family. I am Christian grey so fuck that, I called my mom and tell her I need her help getting answers. I sit in the waiting room with horrible thoughts running threw my head and blaming myself for putting this sweet innocent girl in this hospital. Thankfully my mom gets there before I drive myself completely crazy.

"Christian, Miss. Steele has substain a very serious head injury. Although she is responding." I don't get it, she was hit by bikes how much damage could they really do?

"Mom, you mean to tell me a bike caused that much damage?"

"Sweet heart, She hit her head pretty hard on something. I'm just telling you what I know." I can actually see my mom debating with herself if she should ask me more about this girl. I put her out of her misery.

"No mom, she's not my girlfriend." She smiles a sad smile but decides not to push it. "Mom, is there anything I could be doing right now?"

"I'm sorry, but no. You could call her family or friends to let them know what happened." I make sure Taylor gets on it right away. He has been in touch with her friends from the photo shoot, their turning around since they were half way home. Her dad says he'll be here as soon as he can. I'm all Anstasia has right now, I wouldn't want her to wake up alone and scared. The hours past and Kate and that Jose guy made it here. I fill them in on what happened and tell them all I know about her health status. We wait and wait and wait. Finally Dr. Johnson tells us She's awake. I want to go see her, scratch that I need to see her. I know I don't have the right to demand to go in so I stay seated once Kate and Jose get cleared to go in her room.

"Um, Excuse me Mr. grey, would you like to see Ana also. I mean you did bring her in and wait all this time." I smile at Miss. Kavanuagh, I couldn't be more grateful for this. We all head to Anastasia's room praying for the best. Upon walking in you wouldn't think this girl was just unconsious for five hours.

"Hey Kate, What the hell happened?" Her voice is raspy, still I'm glad I get to hear it. Miss. kavanuagh runs to her friend wrapping her in a hug.

"Oh Ana, I was so worried." A single tear escapes her eyes. I'm touched by this moment , yet I feel like I'm invading on something that was meant to be private. I move for the door making a slight sound. Ana head snaps towards my direction. If feels like I'm seeing her first the first time all over again.

"Hi. Can I help you with something?" Her voice is soft and pleasant, my cold demeanor melts just a little.

"Anastasia, I wanted to make sure you were ok. I have to say you really scared me." She looks stuck as if trying to figure something out. I wait for her to say something.

"Excuse me sir, but do I know you?" What does she mean? If this is a joke I don't find it funny. She's serious, she looks between Kate and Jose searching for answers. I feel like a fool, here I am standing at the foot of her bed with feelings I'm not sure how to describe and she seems to not remember me. Once again Miss. Kavanuagh saves me.

"Ana, this is Christian Grey. You interviewed him for me last week. You were with him when your accident happened." It still doesn't seem to be connecting. I decide to give them some privacy. I feel my anger building as I go in search of Ana's doctor to tell him the situation. He tells me not to panic, he'll have to run some test to see how much of her memory has been lost. I want Answers and I want answers now, after three hours I get them. The doctor says the last thing Ana remembers is watching a movie with Kate and eating chinese takeout. Miss. Kavanuagh informs me that was the night before the interview. I'm at a lost for words, She remembers everything but me. This can't be happening, the connection we had was way to strong for her to forget. I decide to spear myself the embarassment of trying to make her remember me, instead I just stand outside her door listening to her talk to her dad who got here a little while ago. My need for this girl has morphed into something I'm not use to feeling. I wanted this girl as a sub, and yet the thought of this sweet innocent girl anywhere in my playroom fillls me with dread. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? I never felt like this about a sub. That's just it, Ana isn't a sub, she's a young women who doesn't need to be tainted by my fucked upness. Just like that, I've found the silver lining to whole thing. She doesn't need to remember me, she can go on living her life as if she never meet me. I meant what I said to her, I could never be the man that she wanted. WIth one last look at the beautiful Anastasia Steele I leave.

**2month later cpov**

My life has returned to the way it's always been; dull and pointless, I'm grateful that it's friday. I've been very tense since _you know who_ had her accident. Needless to say I had to get a sub.I think I would have had a heart attack from all the stress if I hadn't. I did everything possible not to see Ana. I didn't do graduation, The fear that my pull towards her would be too overwhelming stopped me. For once in my life I'm putting someone elses needs before mine. If I gave into my needs I would have made Ana mines, I just refuse to ruin her life. So her I sit slowly watching the time wind down before I can go home to Jennifer. She's an okay submissive, I mean she doesn't really have any limits and she obeys my every command. I should be happy, right? My life has returned to normal without so much as a trace of Anastasia. It's something about having a beautiful women waiting for me at home that's makes my dick throb. I gather a few sheets of paper I need and decide to leave. I'm walking on cloud nine, and why shouldn't I be? I'm Christian fucking Grey. While waiting for the Elevator I start to picture Jennifer in different positions in my play room; On the cross, spread eagle on the bed and bent over the spanking bench. I smile to myself thinking about all the fun I'll have this weekend. The ping of the elevator breaks me from my reverie. I'm shocked at what stands before me. I think I might be dreaming or Finally went completely insane, this women before me can't possible be Anastasia.

"Um. I'm sorry I don't know if you remember me, I'm Ana...Um I mean Anastasia, Anastasia Steele. You helped me out a few months ago." I'm still standing there speechless, what is she doing here? Surely from the long winded introduction she just gave me she hasn't regained her memory. What am I suppose to do? I already know I'm no good for her, yet I still feel a pull to this young women that quite frankly just pisses me off. I had nothing with this women, _absolutely nothing_. Granted I wanted something with her, but that's besides the point. I can look into her beautiful blues eyes and see straight into her heart. She wants an epic love;the kind people write stories about. A never ending, life changing kind of love, sadly I could never give this to her.

"Yes Miss. Steele, What can I do for you today." I don't mean to sound so cold, I just want her to leave.

"Well Mr. Grey, I wanted to talk." Talk? She came all the way here to talk?

"Miss. Steele What could you possible want to talk to me about?" Maybe she remembers something that spiked her interest about me.

"Well, Um I...I wanted to talk about...Us." I've noticed my employees have become deadly quit. She just said Us, As in me and her together. You know what...Us doesn't sound so bad coming from Anastasia. Still, it doesn't change what we both want and need from each other.

"Follow me to my office Miss. Steele." She walks from the reception area to my office visible intimidated. She has no reason to feel that way,Even in her sweater and sneakers she's still beautiful. I hold the door open wide for her, remembering how she fell her first time here brings a smile to my face.

"You should do that more often." I direct her to a chair in front of my desk before I try to figure out what she's talking about.

"What should I do more often Miss. Steele?" I say as I take my place in my chair behind my desk.

" Smile. I know I don't know you, It just seems like you don't really do that a lot. It's a shame to, you have such a beautiful smile." Her words are so sincere, I feel the wall I've built around my heart begin to collapse and fall apart, while I try to put it back together. If I stay cold and distant she'll want no part of me.

"Miss. Steele I'm very busy, so if you could just ask what ever questions you have." Yup, I can still be a dick.

"Well it's really only one question. What happened on our coffee date?" I'm stunned.I know this is Kate handy work.

" Miss. Steele it was not a date. We just got a cup of coffee after the photo shoot. Well,you had English breakfast tea, still it was not a date." She doesn't seem like she buys it for one minute. The smirk that touches her lips is both sexy and scary.

"Is something funny?" I know I sound mad, if I'm honest I am mad. Who is she to be sitting there smiling while I'm going threw hell remembering that day.

"I just find it funny that you're soo busy running an empire, yet you've remembered what type of tea I had two months ago." I try to not laugh, I really do I just can't seem to help it. We both burst into full blown laughter. I don't remember the last time I laughed like this.

"Well, I guess I just have very good memory." I say with a smile

"Oh." Her smile falls and I fell like a piece of shit.

"Mr. Grey I have one more question." I nod my head and she continues.

" What happened right before my accident." I'm floored. I debate with myself on weather or not I should tell her the truth. I take a deep breath.

"Well, we had just left the coffee shop and you were lost in your thoughts; not paying attention, when you almost got hit by a car." She smiles.

"It doesn't surprise me." She giggles to herself a little. "Please continue."

"Well, I pulled you out of the way of the car." I wish I could stop here. "Afterwards, I held you close and watched as you took deep breaths. After you collected yourself, you wanted me to kiss you." I feel my lightheaded thinking about that very moment in time.

"So, Did you kiss me?" She seems so hopeful.

"No. I rejected you, you were upset. So once again you walked into the middle of the street without paying attention and that's when all the bikes came."

I pause letting everything I've just said sink in. She doesn't seem mad or even sad. If anything she seems happier.

"Only in my world would I miss getting hit by a car and get ran over by a bunch of bikes." We laugh briefly. I feel so relaxed right now. I see her grab her things and begin to walk towards the door. She stops half way there.

"Mr. Grey I dream about you sometimes. I know It might seem crazy, just wanted you to know.I know this is probably the last time we'll ever see each other so, I just want you to remember to smile more." As if on que I smile. What the hell is happening to me? I can't leave it like this. If I never see her again I have to do this.

"Ana Wait." she turns around and faces me. I rise my palm to her cheek and very slowly I place my lips on hers. It's soft and slow but meaningful. A moan escapes from her and it gives my tongue access to hers. I taste her and she does the same to me, I feel warmth flow from my head to my toes and I wish we didn't have to stop.I pull away and stare down at the floor while I catch my breath. I can't believe I just did that, no good can come from that kiss. I realize at this very moment her hands are on my chest. I stiffen but I don't move her. I just let them rest there, They don't bring my pain or fear just peace. I can tell she's worried, I need to get her away from me. I hate this, it means I'll have to reject her again.

"Ana, I think you should leave." she smiles sadly then walks back to the door. she turns around with her hand on the door knob.

"I don't know why you rejected me, and I don't know why you're pushing me away now when you know something is pulling me to you. I just wish what ever was stopping you from letting me in wasn't. I'm glad I got to meet you, even if I don't remember it. Have a wonderful life Christian."

That's the last thing she says before she leaves me alone with my name hanging in the air. I've never heard my name sound so cherished before. She's glad she met me, she doesn't even remember meeting me. This is madness, I can't be with her, I can't give her what I'm sure she wants; A loving, caring boyfriend. All I could give her is hard limits, punishments and sex. Would that be enough for her? That's a stupid question to ask, of course not. I have to let her be. She'll never know of my shades.


	2. Chapter 2

1 month later cpov

I'm fighting against every fiber in my being to stay away from Anastasia. I can not and will not taint her with my darkness, still for some strange reason I crave her. As always I have my usual distractions, but lately they really haven't been satisfying me. Don't get me wrong, I still get plenty use out of my play room, it just seems the subs never seem to last longer then a weekend or two. Its always the same; Elena finds me a girl she deems fit, we sign the contract, we play, we fuck and I ask Elena to find me another. I know it isn't ideal but it keeps me from stalking a innocent girl that I know I'm no good for. I like to think I did the right thing by letting Anastasia walk away. I figured that if we were really meant to be, fate would make sure of it, I haven't seen her since. That day she came into my office she seemed different; she wasn't afraid like before and I couldn't be happier about it, I know I might have came on a little intense, but I never wanted to scare her. I don't know why I still think about Anastasia, I like to think of her as a pleasant memory, a beacon of light in my other wise dark life. I could never have her how I want her. To think she would agree to the things I want to do with her in my playroom is unrealistic. So here I sit gazing down upon Seattle from my office. Around lunch time I begin to feel suffocated, so I decide to walk to the coffee shop a few blocks away. Its bizarre to say the least, everyone seems to be in a rush with no regard for the people around them. I make a mental note not to make a habit of this. A few things happen out of nowhere; someone runs into me, something drops on my foot and something hot spills all over my shirt. This is exactly why I don't do shit like this. My first reaction is to yell.

"WHY DON'T YOU WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU'RE GOING." I want to punch whoever just ruined a two hundred dollar shirt square in the face. Once my anger subsides I'm met wit crystal blue eyes.

"Oh my god, I'm really sorry." Once she's over her initial embarrassment and shock,she recognises that it's me she jumps up to wrap her arms around my neck. I tense up briefly before I revel in the warmth radiating off of her. If this is fates idea of a joke, its a pretty good one. I step back to take in her appearance.

"Anastasia, you did something to your hair." Really? That's the first thing that comes out of my mouth. She still looks beautiful it's just now she has bangs.

"Oh yeah. Everyone said I've been different since the accident, so I figured why not look different." I wonder briefly how much has she changed since the accident.

"Well either way, you look beautiful."

"Thanks Christian, wait I mean Mr. Grey. Well If you don't mind can I call you Christian? I know we don't really know each other ,it's just weird to call you Mr. Grey as if you are my elder, unless you prefer Mr. Grey." As she rambles on I want to laugh.

"Anastasia it's fine, you can call me Christian." I see a triumphant smile spread across her face.

"Well in that case Christian, I'm so happy to see you, granted I spilled coffee all over you." We share a small laugh. I look on the ground and see what I'm sure belonged to Anastasia. We both bend over and begin to pick everything up.

"So Anastasia, what have you been up to" you can do this Grey, just be cool.

"Not much. How about you." What do I tell her, I've been whipping and fucking women constantly trying to get my mind off of you. Yeah right

"Nothing special, just work." Well that isn't a whole lie, it is the only thing I do outside of the playroom.

"Seriously Christian? You really need a life, I mean you act as if you're fifty." What did she just say to me? I'm totally and utterly shocked. Nobody and I mean NOBODY talks to me like that. For some strange reason I know she isn't trying to be nasty ,so I don't take offense to it.

"I'll have you know, I do have a life." She looks at me as if she can see straight through my lie.

"Okay, well it's Friday, do you have plans?" I do actually, I'm suppose to meet Elena to discuss new possible subs, but if Anastasia has something in mind I'll cancel in a heartbeat.

"No, I don't have anything planned."

"See I knew it. You might as well come over to my place tonight." I'm sure confusion is all over my face, I didn't think she was the type to invite guys over so easily. "Can you please get your mind out of the gutter Christian, My roommate is going through a breakup and I'm determined to cheer her up."

Nope I'm still confused. "okay, now where do I come in."

" I figured we order out, eat a bunch of junk and watch hilarious movies until she forgets that jack ass name. And since you don't have plans and you're nice to look at, I figured you should come. Besides, I've been thinking about you a lot."

I'm shocked at half of what she just said; mainly the I'm nice to look at and she's been thinking about me part. The other half seems foreign to me. I don't order out, I don't eat junk and I don't sit around watching movie's. But the fact that she's been thinking about me makes me willing to consider anything for this girl. I just hope I don't do something weird to scare her off.

"Sounds...fun." she burst into a fit of giggles and I've never heard a more beautiful sound "Whats so funny?"

"You are. I can tell you're nervous. Who would have thought Mr. Hotshot CEO is nervous about being alone with two girls." I try to protest and tell her I'm not nervous, but she doesn't buy it. Soon I'm laughing along with her.

"If you're finished laughing, I'll walk you to your car." I try to sound stern but I fail. Its something about this girl, she makes it seem as if we've know each other all of our lives. I'm both excited and afraid by what I feel when I'm around her. We make it to her car, if you want to call it that, Its more of a old, beat up, blue death trap. she gives me her address and tells me to be there around six. Its safe to say, six o clock couldn't get here fast enough. I changed my shirt, looked over a couple of contracts that needed my attention, cancelled my meeting with a very pissed off Elena and made it out the office by Five. Its been a while since I've looked forward to something and I never looked forward to seeing a girl. I know when I'll see my subs and I know what to expect from them so there really isn't much to look forward to. But this is something entirely new. I like the way I am around Anastasia. No matter how cold or distant I try to be towards her she still can see right through it. What could that possible mean. Walking into my penthouse I hear a very loud Elliot and I would rather not tell him my plans for tonight.

"Elliot, what are you doing here?"

"I thought we could get something to eat."

"Maybe another night" I undo my tie while I make my way to my bathroom to get a shower." Elliot follows me asking a million and one questions. I can't help but laugh when his mouth drops open when I tell him I'm going over a girls house. Once out the shower he proceeds to ask me a million and one more questions.

"Christian you have to let me come." It would be less nerve wrecking if Elliot was there, still I can't just invite him.

"Elliot, I can't invite you to someone else's home."

,"OK how about you just let me meet her, then I'll be on my way."

" Elliot there is no reason for you to meet her, its not as if I'm in a relationship with this women. " No matter how much I want her, I still know she's to innocent for me. Yet, I still accepted her invitation for tonight. I see no harm in being friendly with Anastasia.

"It doesn't matter if you're dating her, I just never seen you interact with a female outside of our family besides Ros" I throw in the towel realizing he will never give up.

" Fine, but it you say or do anything stupid you're going straight home." Once I'm finished talking to Elliot as if he's a child we jump in my R8 and make our way over to Anastasia's. The short drive does nothing to calm my nerves. Elliot has been on the phone, no doubt with Mia. I'm sure she'll be calling me before the night is over. Anastasia and her roommate live in a nice apartment complex. I stand outside her door mentally preparing myself for whatever tonight could possibly hold. She answers after the first knock.

"Hey Christian, I didn't know if you would really come." I'm a little offended she thinks I would lie to her.

"Anastasia, I'm a man of my word and I don't liked to be second guess." If she was mine I would take her to the playroom flog and fuck her for thinking I would lie to her. But she's not, so I can't.

"Sheesh Christian calm down, I just thought maybe you would still be at your office, now are you going to tell me who the guy is behind you or do I have to guess." I turn around only to find Elliot steering open mouthed at our exchange.

"Oh sorry, this is my brother Elliot, I hope you don't mind if he joins us."

"No, not at all. Its nice to meet you Elliot I'm Ana." Elliot walks forward and engulfs her in a hug.

"You little lady are gorgeous, don't you think so Christian?" I know what he's trying to do. I don't answer.

"Thank you" she opens the door wider granting us access. " this is my roommate Kate, Kate this is Elliot and you've already meet Christian. I can tell she's been crying and I almost regret coming, surely she doesn't want to be around two strangers while she's going through a breakup. Elliot seems quite, to quiet for Elliot, I turn to find him gawking at Anastasia roommate and she seems to be the only one that doesn't notice it.

"So what did you guys have planned for tonight?" Anastasia and I slightly laugh at his attempt to play it cool.

"Nothing much, movies, pizza and junk. As you might can tell Kate is a little down."

"I'm not down, I'm pissed off. That jerk use me to get closer to my dad and I didn't see it coming." We're taking back by her outburst, Elliot uses it as a chance to say something funny as always.

"Hey look at it this way, at least you get to meet me"

"And what may I ask is so special about you." Kate ask almost challenging Elliot. Elliot looks her square in the eye and with all sincerity and says.

"I'm your future husband."

He receives a small laugh out of Kate. Anastasia says something about running to get the pizza, next thing I know I'm being dragged out of the apartment. I'm fully prepared to drive the R8, but Anastasia protested saying something about it's way to luxurious for simply picking up a pizza. So we decide to walk and talk instead.

"So Christian, are you seeing anyone?" I laugh, If this isn't deja vu I don't know what is.

"You asked me this before, and the answer is still the same."

"Well I guess you forgot that I don't remember." The things I would do to that smart mouth.

"I don't do the girlfriend thing."

"Why?" Well this is new.

"I just don't."

"So does that mean you have casual sex with a bunch of different women?"

"No"

"Unless you're gay or celibate I really don't understand why you're single." If only she knew.

"Lets just say,I have singular taste and I haven't found anyone compatible."

"I'm just going to take your very vague answer as a sign that you don't want to talk about it."

Lucky for me she doesn't push the subject much further. For the next twenty minutes we wonder around a supermarket grabbing anything and everything that has chocolate. I'm amazed by how carefree she seems to be. After picking up the pizza, we head back to her apartment.

"So Anastasia, I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner sometime."

I honestly don't know where that came from, but I don't regret asking. I'll do anything to get to know her better.

"Of course I would." I can't believe she said yes. We walk the rest of the way back talking about the things I like do, and if I didn't know any better I would say she sounded genuinely interested. I've never been this at ease with a woman. I can't make sense of it, I know I'm wrong for her yet I can't stay away, if I'm honest I don't want to. As we get closer to the apartment I can clearly see someone leaning on my fucking R8. I begin to pick up my pace leaving Anastasia screaming for me to slow down. I get closer to the person only to realize I know them.

"What are you doing here Elena."

"Well Christian if you must know, I was oh my way to see you when I noticed your car, I have a few subs I thought you might like, but I see you already found one." I look over my shoulder and notice Anastasia approaching. The last thing I need is for Elena to scare her off.

" I'm warning you Elena, stay away from her."

"Now now Christian, I've met all of your subs, why is she different." The answer is simple, Anastasia is not and will not be my sub.

"She's not a sub Elena."

"Well if she's not a sub what is she?" I don't have time to even consider answering that question because warmth touches my body, I look at the source and find Anastasia's hand resting on my shoulder.

"Christian is everything ok." She looks between Elena and I.

"Anastasia go inside, now." I don't mean to sound harsh, I just have to keep her away from Elena. A look of shock and hurt crosses her face before a look of anger replace it. She heads inside without so much as a second glance.

"Well Christian,she is a very pretty girl. But forgive me if I don't understand her involvement with you if she isn't a sub."

"Her involvement with me is none of your business Elena."

"Christian if I didn't know any better I would think you were dating this girl. But you cant possibly be dating her because you don't date, right Christian?" In her own settle way she's trying to remind me I am not a normal man, with normal needs. Whatever I could hope to have with Anastasia is a lost cause, and no matter how much I hate to admit it she's right.

"Follow me to escala, I want to see all the potential subs you had in mind." I get in my car and with one last look at Anastasias apartment building, I drive away. Leaving behind the light and warmth I feel from Anastasia only to fall back into the darkness that is my life giving to me by Elena fucking Lincoln.


	3. Chapter 3

APOV

I lay in bed, replaying last night. Christian was here one minute and gone the next. If he wanted to leave fine, but he could have told me. And what was with the creepy old lady. It's almost as if he wants me to hate him, I just wanted a chance to get to know him. I know I could always Google him, but I want him to tell me about his self. I might as well stop thinking about Christian,drag myself out of bed and clean up from last night. As always I have no help in the matter, after the first movie Elliot asked Kate out for drinks and since she hasn't asked me about cooking breakfast, I guess she isn't here. Okay, so last night wasn't so bad, Kate met a great gut, even though his brother is a dick.

It didn't take long to clean up, it was mainly chocolate wrappers and pizza crust, which Elliot ate most of. With that being said, I'm starving, pancakes and bacon sound so good right now. I begin to mix the batter when my phone rings, not really paying attention I answer it, figuring its just Kate calling to tell me she's still alive.

"Hello."

"Anastasia, it's Christian." I don't say anything. I don't know weather to yell at him or just hang up. I choose the latter and just hang up. If he had something to say, he could have called last night. I get that he's a big deal and I should be flattered he even knows my name, still that doesn't mean he can walk all over me. I finish making my breakfast and sit down to what should be a peaceful morning. I wish whoever is banging on my door got the memo. I almost don't want to answer it, I know it isn't Kate or she would have used her key. Against my better judgement, I answer it anyway. Standing in the hallway in front of me is a very angry, yet very sexy Christian Grey. I don't know what he's mad about, I didn't leave him for some old lady. I can see this conversation is going to be long.

"What do you want Christian." I'm just as angry as he is, so I'll be damn if he thinks he's going to pick a fight with me.

"Why would you hang up on me?"

"The same reason you left, I just felt like it."

"Anastasia, I'm sorry for leaving without telling you."

"You're sorry for not telling me you were leaving, but you're not sorry you left?"

"Please Anastasia, let me come in and explain. I'll leave afterwards, but please let me at least try." Maybe I'm soft, or maybe I can't bare to see this powerful man practically begging, so I let him in. Having Christian inside my apartment, completely alone does something to me. I fold my arms over my chest, in a attempt to shield myself from whatever is pulling me to him.

"So, you can start explaining any day now." He takes a deep breath before he begins.

"Anastasia, I'm no Good for you. I could never give you what you want and deserve." This sounds almost familiar.

"That still doesn't explain why you left with that creepy old lady."

"Elena is an old family friend and a business associate. She had some potential um employees to show me."

"Christian why are you trying to push me away? You did it before the accident, in your office and now you're doing it again."

"It's for the best Anastasia. I don't want to hurt you. if you were to get involved with me the would undoubtedly be the end result."

"I don't want to get involved with you, I want to get to know you so we could be friends." He looks utterly confused." Don't you have friends,Christian?"

"A very few." Call me juvenile but everyone needs a friend.

"Well, now you got me, but you have to stop pushing me away." He smiles and shakes his head.

"So, what did you have planned for today"

" Well, I have to go shopping for new work clothes. You wouldn't want to tag along, would you?"

"Sure, I don't have anything planned." A huge smile spreads across my face.

"Okay, let me grab a shower."

Im out the shower in ten minutes flats. It takes me a little while to pick an outfit until I decide on a simple sweater jeans and boots. This is me, so Christian might as well get use to it.

"Anastasia, what is taking you so long." This is the third time Christian has asked me this. Its kind of funny, but I see now he has no patience.

"Alright, keep your hair on grey."

"It's about time. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I just have to find my wallet. It seems like since the accident, I can't keep track of anything." I look in the closet, nothing

"That's unnecessary." I stop dead in my tracks

"What do you mean by that?" I know what he means, I just want him to hear how crazy it sounds.

"I could buy you whatever you might need for work." I begin searching again.

"Christian, I'm more then capable of buying my own clothes." I look under my bed and come face to face with my wallet. Walking back into the living room I find a pouting Christian. I think its the cutest thing I've ever seen. "Stop pouting."

"I don't pout." I shake my head as we make our way into the hall.

"I see now this is going to be a very stubborn friendship."

Some how ,some way he talked me into getting in that ridiculously expensive car of his. Shopping with Christian was a horrible idea. He doesn't like anything I pick out, stating that it's cheap or down right ugly. I couldn't help but laugh at the faces he made. Realizing he's isn't going to be any help I let him take me to lunch.

"So are you going to tell me where we going?"

"Nope. You just have to trust me. You do trust me, Anastasia?"

I honestly don't know. I know I feel something for him and I don't think he'll hurt me but I don't know if I trust him.

"I don't know if I can trust someone that can just leave me without so much as a call you later." I'm joking but its the truth.

"Ana, how many times do I have to say sorry. " I can't believe he just called me Ana. He usually calls me Anastasia, as if he's my dad.

"At least fifty more times." He begins to laugh, and what a laugh it is.

"Okay how about I make it up to you."

"I'm listening."

"How about you come over to my place, my house keeper will cook us dinner, I'll pick up a bunch of chocolate and we can watch whatever you want." I make as if I'm thinking it over, but honestly he had me at come over to my place.

"If you insist. How does tonight sound."

"Not good, I was thinking more of next Friday." Friday? But that's a whole week away. Calm down Ana, don't become clingy.

"Why next Friday?"

"I'm busy on the weekends,so unless you want to try a mid week day, I'm only free Friday." It was such a sweet friendly gesture, yet he makes it sound like

A business meeting. The mood between us has changed from playful to guarded. As he drives to wherever he's taking me for lunch, I wish I was anywhere but with this man that's such a mystery.

Cpov

I have so many mixed emotions about today. I loved spending time with Ana but I'm still adjusting to my feelings for her. I want to stay away, I just find it harder and harder to do. She's funny and sweet yet she can stand her ground when need be. I know she'll challenge me and yet I welcome it.

Maybe I need a friend like Ana. As I walk into my penthouse I laugh thinking about Ana picking out those ugly clothes. She was so determined to get my opinion, I'm sure my facial expressions said it all. See this is what I don't understand, I'm thinking about Ana yet I stand outside my playroom.

I push open the door only to find Jessica, I picked her last night. Elena gave her the codes to get in so I wouldn't have to wait. I slowly approach her, enjoying how motionless she seems to be. I know I could never do the things I will do to Jessica to Ana, that doesn't mean I don't feel the impulse to do them. I'll be her friend, and I'll protect her from my so many shades of fucked upness. But she will never know of my shades.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N... I have a horrible case of writers block. I hope you like this chapter , but if you don't feel free to tell me. To the guest that wish I would have kept this story as a one shot. I'm sorry you feel that way, but a lot of readers wanted this to be a full length story. As always I love you for reading.

Sincerely 1FANtastic

Apov

To say I hate my boss would be a understatement. When I first started working at SIP, I looked forward to learning from Jack and growing, but now I just want to kick him in the balls. He hasn't done anything too inappropriate, I just don't like the way he looks at me sometimes. I know it doesn't seem like much but his look alone sends shivers down my spine. I do everything possible to not be alone with Jack, so when I was asked to attend New York for a conference, I declined. I might be a virgin, that doesn't mean I don't know when someone wants to get into my pants. So here I sit indulging in my new favorite past time,clock watching. I watch the clock hit five and practically fly out of my sit. I yell to Jack that I'm leaving and pray he doesn't feel like being a prick...once again my prayers go unanswered cause he calls me back. As long as he stays far away from me and makes it quick, it shouldn't be a problem.

"Is there something that I could get you Mr. Hyde?" He insisted I call him Jack but I don't want to give him the impression that we're anything besides coworkers.

"Well Ana, I wanted to know if you read that manuscript I gave you?" I read the first chapter of that manuscript and wanted to claw my eyes out. Its about a guy who has ruff sex with young women. sounds innocent enough, right? Well after sex with these women he finds them useless and goes on to dispose of them in a brutal and horrific way. I don't know anyone who would read something so violent.

"I did read it sir, I just don't think SIP has ever published something so...dark." A sly smile spreads across his face. I hate his smile, it's makes him look almost sinister.

"As always Ana, I value your opinion. You may go." I turn on my heels to leave feeling his eyes on my ass. It doesn't matter, as long as he doesn't touch me I'll be fine. This is my mantra.

Walking to Wanda I get a text from Kate, basically telling me she's going out with Elliot,don't wait up and she call me in the morning. I'm happy for Kate, she and Elliot seem to like spending time together. She came home Sunday night stating she needed to sleep without Elliot waking her for sex. I told her briefly about Christian before she passed out. Speaking of Christian, maybe I should see what he's doing tonight. He's a blast to be around ,once you get past the grumpy CEO part of him. I still feel him pulling away at times but I still don't know why. Anyone with eyes can see I have feelings for Christian and he for me, but its better this way. if we get to know each other as friends it would only make our relationship stronger, if we were to ever start a relationship that is. I sit in Wanda looking for my phone so I could call him. It rings all of once before I hear his cold harsh tone.

"Grey."

"Hey Christian, it's Ana."

"Hey. Are you okay?" His tone changes instantly.

"I'm fine, I just wanted to cook dinner and since Kate is out I wanted to invite you over."

"Sounds great, but why don't you come to my place." I ponder the idea for a second, how could I say no.

"Okay, text me the address." He sends his address along with some codes he said I'll need and then I'm on my way. I feel excitement spread throughout my body. I wonder how his place will look, since he lives at Escala I know it'll be amazing. Arriving at the front of his building I take a second to admire it. Its all glass and steel and seems to be never ending. I feel so bad when the valet parks my car, I'm sure he's never had to park a car as old as my Wanda. I walk across the marble floor to the bank of elevators. Oh crap, I think I have to use a code once I'm on the elevator. Digging around my purse once again I find my phone, only to drop it. I bend to pick it up when I bump heads with someone who was also trying to pick it up. I'm met with kind blue eyes and blonde hair. He gives me my phone without saying a word, we steer at one another like a deer caught in head lights.

"Um, thank you"

"It's no problem. I hope it didn't brake." That's highly unlikely. My phone has been through worst and yet it still survives.

"I think it's fine."

"I've never seen you before, are you new?" As if I could ever afford to live here.

"No, I'm just visiting my friend." The elevator comes and we both step inside. He presses number ten.

"What floor?" I don't really want to use Christian code with a stranger around.

"It's okay, I have to put in a code."

"By the way, I'm Evan Jacobs." He extends his hand to shake my. I take it and try not to dwell on it's warmness.

"I'm Anastasia." He smiles his all American boy smile.

"Well Anastasia, it was lovely meeting you." The elevator comes to a stop on his floor. He walks off but stops half way out. "Anastasia, can I give you my card?"

"Um...why?"

"Well, maybe you could call me and we could do lunch or something." I blush on que.

"Sure, that sounds nice." He gives me his card and with one last smile he lets the elevator doors close. Remembering why I was here to begin with I punch in Christians codes and within no time the elevator stops again. The doors open to a lovely foyer, with a arrangement of white a red roses. I notice a tall guy with a buzz cut and suit. I hope I'm in the right place.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Christian."

"Of course, Mr. Grey is waiting for you Miss. Steele."

He holds the double doors open for me allowing me to enter the most spectacular place I have ever seen. Everything is white and contemporary, the floor to ceiling windows gives you the most breath taking view of the Seattle skyline. I can completely see Christian living here, he likes everything grand. The one thing that concerns me is the size of this place. Its just Christian that lives here, so why does he need so much space? I'm overwhelmed with sadness, he might act cold and distant but I know he's kind and caring, he must feel so alone in here by himself.

"Ana, whats wrong." I turn around to find Christian with concern etched on his beautiful face.

"Nothing, it's just a lot of space for one person to maintain. "

"Well Mrs. Jones and Taylor live here also, so I'm not completely alone." I furrow my brow in confusion. "They're my housekeeper and head of security." Okay so maybe he isn't alone.

"So what do you want to do?" He helps me out of my coat.

"Well, I thought we could eat dinner, then I'll give you a tour."

"Sounds great."

Since dinner isn't ready we sit down and he tells me about his day. I don't understand most of what he says, but he's so passionate about what he does its hard to ignore. I truly admire Christian, he's so driven and determined, I wonder what caused him to be this way.

"So Ana, how was your day?" I almost want to laugh. Its as if we're married.

"Same old, same old. Go to work, try to avoid my boss and then leave as always."

"What do you mean ignore your boss?"

"Well, he's just a little creepy."

"He hasn't tried anything with you has he?" I can hear the not so settle change in Christians tone.

"No, he just steers a little bit too long that's all. But if he did do something, what would you do?" I fold my arms over my chest with a smile on my face, challenging Christians possessive side to rear its ugly head. No doubt knowing what I'm trying to do he laughs, a very rare Christian grey laugh.

"I would probably beat him to a pulp." Not knowing if he's joking or not I giggle.

"I can see the headlines now. Christian Grey beats up a guy." We both begin to laugh uncontrollably. This is the Christian I've come to know over the last few days. He laughs and jokes like a regular guy.

"Ana I'm serious, if he lays a finger on you promise that you'll tell me." I know he has a thing with safety ,so to set his mind at ease I nod my head in agreement. "Now I feel bad for not picking you up myself."

"I was already in the car by the time I called you. Besides I met one of your neighbors ."

"That makes one of us." I find it unbelievable that he lives here and haven't met any of his neighbors.

"You mean to tell me, you've never met a neighbor?" he shakes his head no. "You are like a grumpy old man, you do know that right?"

"I know" I know its more to Christian then what meets the eyes. But what I don't know is why he chooses to isolate himself from people is beyond me. A middle aged woman appears from the kitchen and announces that dinner is ready. Always the gentleman Christian leads me to the table and pulls out my chair before taking his place across from me. This feels so domestic, Christian and I having dinner as if were really together. Yet to dwell on these hopes are pointless, Christian for some reason doesn't think he could make me happy. I don't know if he really believes that or if he just doesn't want to be in a relationship, either way I don't know where we stand.

"Anastasia, what are you thinking about?" I guess me picking over my rosemary chicken is a dead give away.

"Well, I was thinking about relationships" he stops with a fork full of food in mid air.

"Ana I know what you're thinking, but I've told you that I could never be what you want."

"How do you know that? You haven't even tried." He runs his hands through his hair out of frustration.

"Ana, I thought you liked the way we are."

" I do, and I know we're getting to know each other but what will happen a year from now or three years from now, will you ever want to be more?" I want us to work towards something, not to be stuck as friends for the rest of our life.

"Ana please just bare with me, I know it doesn't seem like it but I'm really trying." I can see that he's trying so I guess I should drop it for now. We finish our dinner in silence with nothing but unsaid words between us. Maybe two people who have feelings for one another aren't meant to be friends, but as I think it I realize how crazy it sounds. Maybe it's cliche but every relationship is built on a good friendship. I feel Christian hands on my shoulder. I hate this, every nerve ending stands at attention with just one touch from him.

"Ana, I know this isn't ideal, but I enjoy us the way we are. You are becoming very near and dear to me, so please trust me when I say, it'll take some time on my part before I'm ready to be in the type of relationship you want." I guess I just have to respect that, no good could come from me rushing him into a relationship.

"Okay. I guess I better go." I stand up and move out of his reach.

"Go? I was gonna give you a tour."

"I'll be back Friday remember?"

"Oh yeah, our do over movie night." He keeps calling it that. He won't admit but I think he's secretly excited about it. Sunday morning he texted me telling me he picked out the perfect movie but he won't tell me what it is.

"So I'll be here Friday at six. And just so you know I plan on dressing comfortably so I advise you to do the same." I could never picture Christian in sweat pants.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Come on, I'll make sure you get to your death trap, I mean car safely." Its no secret that most people don't like Wanda, but Christian down right hates her.

"Ha ha ha very funny." We make our way to the elevator breathing a sigh of relief when it comes in no time. I can tell Christian isn't ready for me to go, but I really don't see the point in staying. It's getting late, I'm tired and I highly doubt that Christian will let me stay the night here. Maybe he would, although I don't see me leaving with my virginity intact. I giggle a little at the direction my thoughts are going.

"And what might I ask is so funny Ana?"

"Wouldn't you like to know Christian" he paces towards me very slow. The magnetic pull becoming stronger with every step.

"I'm sure I can find a away to make you tell me." He places both hands on the side of me. He isn't touching me but I desperately want him to. I reach out to touch him and watch as he recoil from me and steps away. I frown at his change in demeanor.

"One day Christian, I'll find out what makes you want to distance yourself from me, then what will you." It was meant as a joke to lighten the very tense if really thinking about it, he shakes his head before he begins talking.

"I'll let you live your life as if you never met me."

I think he might be serious. What is so bad that he'll think I'll walk out of his life forever. The elevator doors open and we make our way across the lobby. The young man who parked my car hurries to get it. Christian doesn't say much, I suspect he's lost in his own thoughts. I just wait patiently for my car. A black sports car pulls up in front of us and Evan jumps out with what looks like takeout. He gives me a smile and a nod that I return, Christian jaws tighten along with his fist, I act as if I don't notice. As Evan makes his way pass us through the doors my car arrives.

"So I guess I'll call you." He doesn't say anything just nods. "Christian, whats wrong?"

"Nothing. I just don't like the way he looked at you, that's all." I want to laugh.

"Christian Grey, are you jealous?" If I'm not mistaken he blushes.

"No, I just...I mean you don't know him, so I dont think its appropriate for him to look at you that way."

"Well if it makes you feel better I do know him. He wants to get lunch or something, what do you think I should do?"

"By all means go Anastasia, you aren't dating anyone" I want to slap him. We could be dating, but he can't be what I want, whatever that means.

"You're right...so I'll call you. Goodnight Christian." I don't wait for a farewell, I get in Wanda and drive away.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N to my very honest reader who said my last chapter was uneventful and lackluster this is for you. I hope you like it.

Cpov

My week has been absolutely shitty. Andrea called out due to the fact she caught the flu, leaving my day to day schedule in the incompetent hands of Olivia. Who failed to inform me of two meetings and a conference call. Needless to say, she is no longer employed with GREY HOUSE. To make up for the meetings I missed, I had to fly to Philadelphia Friday morning and returned late Friday night. I hated cancelling my plans with Ana, but my business has to come first. She didn't seem upset but she made sure our call was as short as possible. We haven't talked since dinner Monday. I'll text her good morning and she'll do the same, but that is as far as our communication goes. Wednesday around lunchtime I texted her to see if she wanted to grab lunch, honestly I just needed to see her face and for her to make me laugh, sadly she declined. So I had to endure lunch with Elliot. But what really shot my week straight to hell, is the moment Elliot casual mentioned Ana had a date. A fucking date! The worst part is I know I have no one to blame but myself. I'm not blind or stupid, I can clearly see that Ana wants us to be more then what we are. I just couldn't bare the idea of her in the middle of my twisted life. She is my only glimmer of light but my unspoken demons will surely chew her up and spit her out leaving me with the never ending darkness which is my life.

I check the time, 7:45. Elena should be here soon, she has a new sub for me. None of them seem to hold my interest lately. I give Taylor and Gail Saturday and Sunday off so they won't have to witness my new womanizing ways. I can indulge myself in my playroom for a weekend with one, but come Sunday evening I've grown bored of her and am in need of another. I know it seems bad, hell it is bad but it's something I desperately need. I hear the bing of my elevator and the familiar clicking of high heels and know Elena is here. Before Ana, Elena was the only person I remotely considered a friend, but Ana has proven that she'll be there for me no matter what. So Elena and I haven't been as close as we once were.

"Hello Christian, this is Bianca." I look towards the young woman standing next to Elena. She has long chestnut brown hair that falls down to her waist. Her eyes are emerald green and she's dressed impeccably in a fitted navy blue dress and nude pumps. I dismiss her with the wave of my hand, knowing the next time I'll see her will be in the playroom.

"So Christian, how are things with Anastasia?" It seems like a normal question coming from a normal friend but I know it is anything but since I've never told Elena Ana's name.

"Elena you can wipe that smirk of your face this instant, if you so much as breath near Anastasia, I will ruin you." I don't yell, but then again I don't need to, Elena knows I mean every word I say.

"Calm down Christian, I was just asking." She turns and makes her way to the elevator. I head into the playroom. Bianca is kneeling by the door, perfectly still. I trail the riding crop down her back and watch as she shivers with anticipation. I pull gently on her braid and she stands to her feet. She walks over to the saint Andrew cross before I strap her down.

"What are the safe words Bianca?"

"Red and yellow, sir"

I place the blind fold over her eyes and step back to admire her. I want to indulge myself in her all night until she can't stand, and that's exactly what I do. I move her around my playroom as if she's a rag doll; Cross, bed, spanking bench. We move all around the playroom, leaving no surface untouched. When ever I think she might be tired, I give her a nice flogging to wake her back up. At one point of the evening she rested her head on my chest. I know it was most likely a mistake, still I'm sure the three strikes from my paddle and the sting on her ass it will be a reminder to never do it again. Feeling myself losing interest already. I lead Bianca to the bed and make her kneel on all fours before cuffing her hands. I take her from behind. She pulls on her restraints but doesn't tell me to stop. I plow into her over and over each thrust deeper then the last. I feel myself getting closer and closer to my climax, I reach around and rub her swollen nub until I feel her insides constrict around me.

"Christian?" At first I think it's Bianca, but the voice sounds way to familiar. I turn to see scared blue eyes steering back at me. I jump up and search for my pants. I take a few steps towards her and she takes a few steps back.

"Ana please, it's not what you think."

"It all makes sense now...you're..you're a sadist."

"No, I'm a dominant." I'm slowly inching closer to her a she slowly inches further away.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DIFFERENCE?" I'm completely shocked by her outburst but I understand. "SO IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO TO ME?"

"No, I never wanted you mixed up with this." I reach out and touch her shoulder.

"DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED ME ENOUGH TO TELL ME."

she does exactly what I thought she would do, run. I run after her, not believing this is actually happening. She darts into the elevator, I catch it right before the doors close and position myself in between them.

"Ana please let me explain." She's in the corner of the elevator trembling and on the brink of tears.

"There is no need...You were right, if this is what you want, then you can't be the man for me. Now, can you please move away from the doors so I can leave." I see a single tear stream down her beautiful face. I step back allowing the doors to close, she doesn't say a word,she just leaves.


	6. Chapter 6

A/n

Im not really feeling this chapter but this next chapter will explain alot. Tell me if you life it.

Apov 1month post Christian.

My life has taken a quick nose dive this last month. Kate and Elliot are attached at the face most of the time, so I haven't spent time alone with my best friend in forever. SIP has been taken over by some big wig company, causing jack to have a permanent stick up his ass. And to top it all off I find out Christian is into some serious kinky sex. I've thought about letting him explain several times, but he stopped calling and texting after a couple of days. I would probably do the same thing if someone ran from me as if I was a monster. I felt horrible after I left Christians penthouse, I had no right to talk to him the way I did, still he should have told me. Every hope I had for Christian and I died the moment I seen that room, still I find myself missing him everyday. I look at the clock and see its almost seven, yet Jack still has me reading manuscripts. I finish the last one and head into his office.

"Mr. Hyde, I'm finished with the manuscripts so I'll be leaving now."

He doesn't look up from his computer, he just flags me off. I've noticed jack has been colder towards me, but I personally don't care. As long as he isn't creeping me out, he could be as cold as he wants. I walk out of the building and down the street to my car. I'll have to start parking closer to the building if I'm going to be working so late, call me paranoid but I swear it feels like I'm being watched. As I get closer to my car I notice someone leaning up against it. Stopping a few feet away I'm surprised to come face to face with someone who is quickly becoming one of my new favorite people.

"Evan, what are you doing here."

"Well I went to your place and Kate said you were here, so I thought I'd surprise you. Besides, I made spaghetti."

I swear he's the sweetest guy ever. During the last month he would cook at his place and bring the food to mine. I know it sounds weird but I couldn't go back to escala, seeing how the last time I was there I left crying.

"That sounds perfect. I'll meet you there." I jump in Wanda and make my way home with Evan following close behind. Evan is really nice. We had lunch a few times and dinner every Saturday. He's a surgeon who loves football and has a passion for cooking. On paper he sounds perfect, any girl would be glad if he showed them interest. I just know deep down I still want Christian, so I could never start anything with Evan. Pulling up to the apartment building I notice Kate's car. It would be a miracle if she's here by herself. Walking into the apartment I find Kate stuffing her face with spaghetti. Evan and I both laugh hysterically.

"Well, I'm glad you like my cooking Kate." Evan shouldn't really be flattered, Kate likes anyone's cooking.

Wiping sauce off of her chin, Kate grins. "Evan, I think this is better then that lemon pepper chicken you made. If I didn't have Elliot I would be all over you."

"I'm glad to see someone feels that way." Evan gives me a sly smile. I know to everyone it might seem as if we're dating but we're not. Yes, we go out on dates but we haven't made anything official. If I'm honest, I don't know if I want to. Feeling both Kate's and Evan eyes on me I change the subject.

"Speaking of Elliot, where is he?"

"He had dinner with Christian. I guess he'll come afterwards." I would love if Christian would come over with Elliot, I just know that's rather unlikely. I made it quite clear I would never have anything to do with what I seen in that room, he probably moved on.

"Well I guess I'll grab a quick shower." I leave Evan with Kate. I walk to my room and strip out of my clothes and into a robe. On my way to the shower I hear Evan and Kate talking. I'm a little concerned with how easily Evan has blended into my life. He's gets along with Kate and Jose, he hasn't met Ray or my Mom but I have met his dad. Like I said we are not a couple, but at the rate things are going we're dangerously close to becoming one. After a shower I'm dressed in a crop top and leggings. I pile as much spaghetti as I can manage on my plate and join Evan and Kate at the table.

"So Ana, what do you want to do for your birthday?"

"It doesn't matter to me, as long as I have fun." Kate jumps up and down in her seat.

"Ana we're gonna have so much fun."

"If you say so Kate." I go back to eating my food, not wanting to think about whatever Kate might be planning. A knock at the door interrupts Kate's rambling about liquor and birthday cakes before she goes to answer it. I hear Elliot voice and know my time with Kate is over. Elliot comes into the kitchen holding a small bag.

"Hey Ana, can I talk to you for a second?"

I don't think I've ever heard Elliot sound serious. He looks between Evan and I.

"Um, sure. Evan can you run out and get me some ice cream." Being the gentleman that he is, he grabs his keys and head out the door.

"So whats up Elliot."

"Well, I was just with Christian. He asked about you." My mind goes into a free fall.

"He asked about how you've been and if you were happy."

I don't know what to say. I thought he forgot about me.

"Well, what did you tell him."

"I told him you seemed happy. But to be honest I don't think that's the case. You two go from spending everyday together to cutting each other out completely. I don't know what happened and I really don't care, all I know is I never seen my brother like this."

"Elliot, Christian and I wanted different things." That's my lie and I'm sticking to it.

"Well, he definitely misses you. He told me to give you this." He passes me the bag and with hesitant hands I take it. I'm shocked and a little tickled by what I find. A bag of kit Kat's, a small blanket and the great Gatsby DVD with a note attached to it.

Dear Ana

We never had our do over movie night. I picked this movie for a simple reason, it's about a man trying to better himself for the woman he cares for. I find it quite fitting don't you think.

Sincerely a grumpy old man

As I'm reading the note Kate walks up behind me.

"Awww I love that movie. Elliott's leaving so we can watch it if you want." I think after a month of missing Christian and being around Evan, I desperately need a girls night.

"That sounds good."

"Great! I'll say bye to Elliot and grab some wine. Give me ten minutes."

Excitement starts to bloom inside of me. I've read the book but I never seen the movie. My phone vibrates and a text from Evan pops up.

* emergency at the hospital. Call you tomorrow*

I breathe a sigh of relief. It's jus Kate and I, it hasn't been like that in a while. The only thing that could make this better is if Jose were here. But he has his big show in Portland so I haven't seen him a lot. Ten minutes later Kate's back, the wine is poured and the movie is in. I settle in for a nice night with my best friend. Movie night has always been like a tradition for Kate and I, we've cried numerous amount of times over a numerous amount movies but this is completely different. I can't believe Christian sees himself as Jake Gatsby, I would take Christian anyway I could get him, he would never have to change for me. Okay, so maybe me running out on him probably didn't make that clear, but I was shocked that's what a normal person would do if they seen something like that room. After the movie is over

I cry like a baby. Kate is looking at me as if I'm crazy.

"Ana are you OK?"

I sniffle a little bit before I can bring myself to answer her.

"I just can't believe someone would do all of that for someone they loved, just to have that person walk out on them." I have some nerve, that is exactly what I did, Poor Christian.

"You would be surprised." She gets up from the couch and takes the wine glasses in the kitchen. I need to talk to Christian, after all he never said anything to me that indicated he wanted to take me into the room. I grab a jacket and my car keys and head for the door.

I know I could possibly be walking in to the same thing from last time, but I just have to know why he felt the need to hide the real him from me. Over the last month I haven't allowed myself to think about Christian, but now that's all I can think about. Granted I am speeding to his apartment with hopes he isn't with another woman, right now I just don't care. Arriving at escala is the same as last time; someone parks my car, I feel out of place in my trench coat and uggs, still none of that matters. I walk across the marble lobby and into a elevator. I thank god his codes haven't changed. My heart is beating so hard I can hear it in my ears. I don't know how Christian will react when he sees me, I just hope it isn't bad. The moment I step off the elevator Mr. Buzz cut stops me dead in my tracks.

"Excuse me miss. Steele, I will have to inform Mr. Grey that you're here." Well that was formal. He walks through the foyer doors and a few minutes later Christian stands before me with a unreadable expression.

"What can I do for you, Anastasia." Oh so now we're back to Anastasia.

"Well...um...I watched the movie you gave me." As if that explains everything.

"I hope you enjoyed it." I don't know this formal man that stands before me.

"Christian, we need to talk." He looks like he was about to say something but he's interrupted by that creepy blond hair lady I keep having the unfortunate pleasure of running into.

"Christian, what is taking you so long." When she steps into view she looks me up and down and scowl. "Hello Anastasia, nice to see you again." I give her a tight smile. It is anything but nice to see her again.

"Elena, I'll have to cut our dinner short, Taylor will escort you out." She looks shocked but I couldn't be happier. She grabs her purse and walks past me to the elevator bumping me slightly. I would say something but I was taught to respect my elders. The elevator comes and she steps inside, her six inch heels echoes against the silence between Christian and I. Right before the doors close she ask me

" Anastasia, how is that boyfriend of yours?" Before she's out of sight and I'm left alone with a very pissed off Christian.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Its kind of funny seeing him so mad.

"Look I know I was a jerk for running, but I didn't know if you might hurt me." The look in Christians face is pure hurt.

"Ana, have I every hurt you?"

"No"

"So why would you think for one second that would change. I warned you, yet you became closer to me. I hid the real me because for the first time I had a friend. Someone I can laugh with and be around with out them wanting something. But the minute you seen the glimpse of the real Christian, you break your neck to get away from me. And you now have a boyfriend, so please Anastasia why are you here."

I'm slightly scared because Christian never used this tone of voice with me. He said a lot but as he stands before me all I see is a lonely, jealous and deeply complicated man.

"First off, I have no boyfriend. And like I said I was shocked when I seen you, my fight or flight instinct kicked in and I ran instead of letting you explain." I step closer to him little by little, never breaking eye contact. "But in the last month, I can honestly say I missed you. You never have to change for me or hide from me, just please be honest. Do you think you can do that Christian?" By now I'm standing in front of him. Hes looking down at me with a unChristian like smile on his face.

"For you Anastasia, I can do anything." I stand on my tippy toes and place a kiss on his soft lips. He deepens the kiss by pressing me to him and running his hands up and down my back. I begin to feel like I have way to many clothes on. I begin to unwrap my trench coat and Christian gasp when he sees whats underneath.

"You came out the house like that?"

"Shut up and kiss me." That was almost like a green light for him. He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. We kiss wildly and passionately while making our way up the stairs. Christian strips my clothes along the way. By the time we make it to the bedroom I begin to feel nervous, surely Christian could never be satisfied with a virgin. I stop his trail of kisses down my neck and try to voice my concerns.

"Christian, wait." He looks at me with lust filled eyes. "This is my first time, so please be gentle." He looks happy almost.

"Ana, I've never had a woman in my bedroom and I never felt for anyone what I feel for you, so in lots of ways this is my first time to."

I smile at his tender words before he attacks my mouth with new resolve. Its a little painful but hot as hell. He lays my body down and I squirm beneath him with anticipation. He grabs one of my nipples between his lips and I practically convulse, he pulls my leggings and my panties off in one swoop. Stepping back to admire me in all my glory, a smug smile appears on his face before he resumes his torture. He rolls my nipple around with one hand as he places butterfly kisses along my body. By the time he reaches my core and begins to taste me, I almost faint. Its like he's everywhere, yet I still feel an ache in my core that needs release. He's pulling and licking and sucking and its heaven. I feel a tightening in my belly and a sudden surge of pure ecstasy. I cry out in pleasure as my orgasm takes over me. I don't have anytime to comprehend how I feel because I hear a condom wrapper being opened and see Christian hovering over me.

"Ana, are you sure about this?" Of course I'm sure. I bring his lips to mine and show him how sure I really am. He places his erection at my entrance and with one stroke he rips right through my virginity. I winch from the pain and he stops. "Ana, do you want me to keep going?" I nod, not really able to say much. He pulls out and goes back in a repeatedly slow pace. I can't describe the feeling, its like a welcomed intruding.

I feel myself building and he picks up the pace, rolling his hips as he goes. I get closer and closer and hear Christian call out what I assume is my name while he pumps harder and wilder. I climax and pull Christian closer to me, trying to see if he's really here and if this is really happening. His full weight presses me into the mattress. At this very moment I know I have started something that is no doubt going to be all consuming. I see now that I'll give this man anything. My heart, my soul and my love but I honestly don't know if he could or would ever give it back.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N

I wanted to write more but unfortunately I have become sick once again. So it's only so much I write before it starts to sound like gibberish. I'm already writing the next chapter and I'm caught up once again in a mind blowing story. The journal. If you haven't read it I highly recommend you do. As you may know this story started as a one shot but took on a life of its own, and I want to thank MACERA, PKS9704, FIAT124GIRL, PTMINOR AND CHRISTIAN 618 for being such loyal readers and nice people over all.

Apov

Christian and I lay on the floor of his bedroom, too tired to even try to move. I could live in this moment for ever, but I know we have a lot to talk about. Starting with that room.

"Christian, can you tell me how you came to be the way that are?" He stiffens slightly.

"Ana, I don't want to bother you with my past."

"Please, Christian. If we're going to be together I want to know all there is about you." He looks at me as if I've lost my mind.

"You want us to be together?" I never seen anyone look as confused as Christian does now.

"Of course I do. But I would like to know you better."

We both sit up, I turn to face him completely unfazed by my complete nakedness, hoping he will realize how important this is to me. He takes a deep calming breath before he begins to tell me of how he became a dominant as he calls it. He doesn't hold anything back as he tells me about his life before he was adopted, the pain and fear he had to deal with. I assumed his life got better once he was adopted, but even then he had to live with the scars of his past demons, never truly allowing himself to be loved by his new family. His anger and pain followed him into his teenage years, not knowing how to deal with it he decided to fight and drink his troubles away. It's hard hearing about how Christian grew up but I don't interrupt for fear that he might stop. He goes on to tell me how that horrible old lady took advantage of him at the age of fifteen, of course he doesn't say it quite like that but that's exactly what she did. He doesn't flinch telling me about the things she did to him within the six years he was her plaything. Their arrangement only ended once her husband found out, so Christian started to contract women to be his submissive. Once its all out in the open I honestly don't know what to say. He looks at me intently waiting for me to say something. I don't know where to start, I have a million questions so I guess I'll start with the most important.

"Are you still in contact with any of them?"

"If you're referring to my ex subs, no" I just that's a good thing. Ex sub is basically a ex girlfriend.

"Do you expect me to go in that room?" I hold my breath, praying he doesn't expect me to do something so extreme, when I literally just started to have sex.

"I don't expect you to do anything you don't want to do. Besides, the last time you were in that room you ran from me. Trust me, I'll do anything to avoid feeling that way again."

"So, do you think I'll be enough for you?" He looks shocked.

"Ana, I don't know...but I am more then willing to try a regular relationship with you."

The biggest smile spreads across my face. "That's all I ask of you. I don't expect you to be perfect, I just expect you to at try to give us a chance."

He leans forward and presses a soft kiss to my lips. "Now, are you going to tell me what you were doing here that night you found me in my playroom."

I know I can't possibly lie to him so early on in our relationship, so I decide to tell him the dead honest truth.

"Well, I was at Evans place having dinner." I watch as he tries his hardest to not be mad.

"So you were dating Evan." He moves away from me, but I just move in closer.

"No, no, no it wasn't like that. That entire week I haven't seen you and we barely talked so Evan and I went to lunch and he asked me over for dinner. It was fun, we talked and laughed and he walked me to the elevator once I was ready to go. When the elevator stopped that's when I seen your friend. It was kind of weird the way she looked at and on the ride down she said I should check on you because you seemed stressed." I remember that night all to vividly. I was shocked by a lot of things that night, looking back now I see the old bitch might have wanted me to run. Little does she know I have Christian now, and I refuse to let him go.

"Ana, I apologize for Elena. I don't know what her intentions were, but I'll be sure to have a talk with her."

He can't possibly be serious. Her intent was pretty clear and anyone can tell that she wants him.

"Christian, she obviously has feelings for you."

He throws his head back in full blown laughter. "Ana trust me, Elena and I haven't been intimate in years"

"That doesn't mean anything. Anyway none of that matters because you Christian Grey, are mine." I straddle his legs with my arms resting on his shoulders. With the most bashful look I ever seen, all Christian says is

"Yes Ana, I'm yours." He attacks my lips while we lose ourselves in round four.

Cpov

I lay looking at Ana for a little while as she sleeps. I don't know what I did to deserve this extraordinary woman but I'm grateful. She's willing to accept all my flaws and still be with me, it still amazes me. And to think Elena could have single handedly destroyed this. I leave my bedroom and head to my study. I'm well aware of the time, I just don't fucking care, I need to speak with Elena now. After dialing here number it doesn't take long for Elena's voice to come through my receiver.

"Christian darling, is something wrong?"

"No, everything is perfect, no thanks to you."

"What are you talking about."

Leave it to Elena to play dumb.

"Listen to me and listen good Elena. Stay. Away. From. Ana. She told me about that little stunt you pulled."

I hear Elena laugh a little to herself.

"Oh Christian please, do you think f poo r one moment that mousy little girl will take care of your needs? I know you and I know sooner or later you will grow tired of her, and you will need my help."

She sounds so sure of herself, as if I'm predictable. I've always thought of Elena as my one and only friend, but this cold harsh woman seems like a stranger.

"Elena, I said all I have to say. Goodnight." I end the call, I've had enough of her for one night.

Elena POV

I cant believe he had the audacity to hang up on me. This little girl has gotten to him and it's getting on my last nerve. If she thinks for one minute this is going to be her happily ever after, she is sadly mistaken. She ran out on Christian once and I'm positive she'll do it again, all she needs is a little push. I wonder if Leila could help with this little problem, after all she wanted more from Christian only to have him end things. Surely she won't be to happy with this Anastasia girl taken what she so desperately wanted. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N

I'm still out of it but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging.

Apov

Sadly my weekend with Christian is coming to a end. The last two days have been bliss, just Christian and I getting to know each other better and of course a crazy amount of sex. I think we've had sex ever where in this penthouse except for his playroom. I want to try for him, but I'm still not ready. So until I am Christian said a vanilla relationship is perfectly fine. But between the sex and getting to know each other Christian fell behind on some work. He said it wouldn't take long but that was an hour ago, and since I've grown bored of waiting I decide to take a ride to the market. As I make my way to the elevator Taylor does that creepy thing he does by popping out of nowhere.

"Would you like me to escort you anywhere Ana." It took a couple tries but he finally stopped calling me ma'am.

"No thank you Taylor, I'll be back soon. I have my phone if Christian freaks out and needs to know where I am." I receive the smallest of laughs. I proceed to make my way to the service elevator. Christian insist I take this elevator instead of the main one, stating that its quicker and it goes straight to the garage. I honestly think he just doesn't want me to run into Evan. As I think of Evan I wonder what's going to happen now that I'm in a relationship. I guess I'll cross that bridge once I come to it.

Since my car isn't new and shiny it sticks out like a big blue thumb in the escala garage. As I get closer I notice something is seriously wrong. All of my Windows are shattered, my tires are slashed and the word MORE is written in paint on each side of my precious Wanda. I'm appalled someone would do this, I know my car isn't the prettiest thing to look at but this is just cruel. I stand and look at my car for a few minutes not understanding why this is happening, I have no clue what "more" could mean. I feel a cold chill run down my spine, I need to get out of this garage. I turn swiftly and bump into pale limbs, chestnut hair and cold brown eyes. I have no idea who this women is, but I want to be as far away from her as possible. Her low voice does nothing to calm my rising panic.

"So, you're Anastasia...Mistress said you looked like the rest of us." Who the hell is she and what the hell is she talking about.

"Look, did you do this to my car?" She tilts her head to the side and looks me up and down but doesn't answer me.

"This car is the least of your worries. If I couldn't have more, neither will you." She lunges at me and as a reflex I move slightly to the side. I feel a sharp pain and I see her come towards me again, so I ball my fist and punch her as hard as possible square in her face. She falls flat on her ass. I feel light headed and sag to the ground. I want to get up, hell I know I need to get up before she attacks again. A white SUV pulls alongside us and the woman jumps in. I breath a sigh of relief and make my way back to the elevator. What in the world was that all about, and who the hell was she. I ride up to Christian's place and the minute Taylor lay his eyes on me his by my side.

"Ana, what happened?"

"Some lady attacked me." I feel pain and pat over my body to find the source. I touch my side and winch. I look down and see blood and start to scream my head off. Christian runs out of his study and stops in his tracks once he finds me.

"Ana, what happened?" I try to answer him but darkness consumes me.

Cpov

I sit in complete silence with nothing but the sound of Anastasia's monitor. I'm grateful that she's okay with all things considering, still I cant help but realize she's in the hospital once again because of me. I had Taylor review the garage footage and the woman who attacked Ana could be any of my subs. That thought alone makes me feel like shit. The doctor said the knife only managed to cut her side and she probably fainted from shock, so now I'm just waiting for her to open her eyes. I should have never thought for a second we could be together without my past coming to bite me in the ass. Ana stirs in her bed before opening her eyes. I don't know what she might say so I hold my breath until realization of her surroundings and the situation dawns on her. She immediately reaches for her side no doubt feeling the bandage, before slumping down into her bed. I pull my chair closer wanting to be in her reach.

"Ana, I was so scared." I bring her hand to my lips and kiss it ever so gently.

"It all happened so fast. That woman destroyed my car." Leave it to Ana to be concerned about her death trap, never mind the fact she was stab.

"I'll handle it, that thing was hideous to begin with." She tries to laugh and quickly stops from the pain.

"Please don't make me laugh, my side is killing me."

"I'm sorry... Ana, we need to talk."

She turns her head in my direction, eyes full of confusion." I don't think we should be together...I cant be with you without hurting you, this is the second time I've put you in the hospital."

So many emotions play on her face until calmness washes over her.

"I know why you're doing this. What happened to me is not your fault. I care about you Christian and I'm not letting go so easily...please tell me you won't either."

I'm deeply touched by her words, I just feel like this is how our relationship is destined to be. She's always going to be in danger.

"Ana...you'll never be safe with me."

"That's not true, your the most protective person I know. Please don't do this, give us a fighting chance."

Can I do that? Can I be with her knowing that I'm putting her in danger simply by caring for her.

"Christian...please say something" she looks at me with those big blue eyes, waiting patiently for me to say anything I'm sure. I press my lips to hers, kissing her gently but forcefully saying all that needs to be said. She pulls me closer running her hands through my hair. We break apart only to catch our breaths. She smiles her always present carefree smile.

"I may be in the hospital, but at least I remember you this time." I laugh at her ability to make light of every situation.

"So Mr. Grey, did you call my dad."

"Yeah, Taylor called he should be here in a couple of hours."

"Good, when will I be able to leave?"

"I'm not sure. But I'm guessing once you're discharged you'll being going back to your place." Ana has been at my apartment since Friday, so I'm kind of dreading her leaving.

"Yeah. If I stayed at your place you'll just keep attacking me for sex." I open my mouth to protest but she gives me a don't try to kid yourself stare and I double over in laughter once again. I hear someone clear they voice and by the door is no one other then my mother. Crap.

"Mom, what are you doing here."

"Well, I heard you were here so I thought I would say hi." She looks between Ana and I. The last time my mom seen Ana there was no introduction.

"Ana, I'll like you to meet my mother Grace, and mom I'll like you to meet my girlfriend, Ana."

Elena pov

Who would have thought that skinny little bitch could throw a punch. Leila might have failed this time but next time will be a success. All Christian needs is to see that Ana can not and will not fulfill his needs. And when he does Leila will be there to pick up the pieces and once he falls back into the life I have given him, all will be right in the world once again.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N

My life is horrible at the moment. I had to write something to get my mind off it. I hope you this chapter.

Apov

I watch as Christians mother stands shocked by his introduction of his new girlfriend aka me. Its kind of funny, mainly because she hasn't blinked or closed her mouth yet. A small laugh escapes me and she snaps her head in my direction. She is a beautiful older women with Brown hair and warm eyes. She takes a few steps closer to me and wraps me in hug. I'm not sure why I'm being hugged but i might as well go with it. She pulls away and simply smiles.

"It is lovely to meet you, although I wish it was under better circumstance." She looks at my side covered in a huge bandage. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

"Well, some mad women destroyed my car and attacked me for no reason." as I say it aloud I realize how crazy it sounds; surely she wouldn't do all of this for no reason but for the life of me I have no idea what I could have possible done.

"Oh no, have you contacted the police? Do you know the women?" I shake my head no.

"So a complete stranger did this? I hope she is caught soon."

Christian speaks up, stating that Taylor is taken care of it. His mother changes the very uncomfortable topic and I'm glad, after all I'm in no mood to think about it. We talk a little more about how christian and I met and how long we've been dating. She's surprised it's only been a couple of days.

"Anastasia, it was lovely meeting you. Christian bring her to the house sometime"

Christian agrees and she leaves after giving him a hug and whispers something that makes him smile. He strides back to my bedside with a weird expression on his face.

"Christian, what's wrong? Are u upset that I met your mother so soon?" I completely understand if he does.

"No, it's just something my mother said."

"What is it?" My mind goes into over drive with the worst things she could have said to him.

"She said it's nice to see me happy."

"That's weird, you're always happy."

"No, I'm always happy around you, it's a different story around my family." I'm both flattered and sadden by his statement. I'm flattered that my presence can bring him happiness but sadden because he has distance himself from his family because the lifestyle he has chosen to live. That makes me hate that old bitch even more. Did she ever stop for on second to think about how that type of lifestyle would effect his relationship with those who love him most.

"Well, I'm glad you're happy." I sit up and kiss him and we begin a conversation before the doctor tells me I can leave. I'm so happy I could do back flips. But I refrain from doing so since the doctor told me to take it easy. I dress as quickly as possible and head to the front of the hospital. Taylor stops us mid way simply saying paparazzi as if I should understand why I can't leave.

"What's the problem?" Christian and Taylor look at me as if I just asked the stupidest question in the world.

"Ana, if the press knew we're together they would make our life a living hell." I don't have time to say much before I'm being dragged to the hospital garage. once we're in the SUV and away from the screams and flashing lights of the paparazzi silence falls upon us. The whole drive to my apartment christian seems angry. He runs his hands through his hair every couple of minutes and I'm starting to grow concerned. Pulling up in front of the apartment I notice Ray truck and become giddy with excitement.

"My dads here." I turn around in my seat with the biggest smile plastered on my. "Do you want to meet him? Its okay if you don't.I wouldn't want to move to fast."

"Ana, I would love to." We exit the car and head up to my apartment. Since Christian never had a real relationship, I doubt he's ever met anyone's parents before.

"Are you nervous about meeting my dad?"

"Yes. I know how much he means to you."

"You'll be fine"

I hope Ray likes christian and vice

versa. I open the door and before I know what's happening Kate attacks me for a hug. I don't fight it, I look over her shoulder and see Ray and Elliot laughing.

"Oh my gosh, I was so scared Ana."

" I'm fine Kate, really." She looks as if she might cry.

"Are you sure? If something ever happened to you I would go crazy."

"If that's your way of saying you love me, I love you to Kate." We share a small laugh before I'm embraced by my dad. He doesn't say a word, I can only imagine what could be going through his head.

"Anastasia Steele, I've never been so scared in my life. I'm just glad it isn't worst." I notice Ray staring behind me and turn around and find Christian standing in the doorway. I walk over to him and grab ahold of his hand and pull him further in the apartment.

"Dad this is Christian, my boyfriend"

I hear Kate gasp and Elliot is smiling broadly. Christian and Ray stare at each other, no doubt not knowing what to do next.

"Mr. Steele, it's a pleasure to meet you." Christian extends his hand but Ray makes no attempt to shake it.

"Are you the guy that took her to the hospital after her first accident?"

"Yes, sir"

"Last I heard, you and Ana were friends." Ray says crossing his arms over his chest.

"We still are friends, in fact she's my best friend. But now we are committed to each other in a relationship, and I couldn't be happier about it"

I wait to see what ray might do next. If he doesn't like Christian, our relationship would never work.

"I'm going to tell you this once, if you ever break my daughters heart or. hurt her in any way, I'll find you." Yes dad, that doesn't sound crazy at all, I think to myself sarcastically.

"I wouldn't dream of it." He pulls me closer and drapes his arm over my shoulder.

Cpov

After a couple of minutes Ana's dad finally warms up to me. We talk about fishing, boats and Ana when she was a little girl. She rolls her eye's when ever I laugh at one of ray stories. Kate and Elliot have went out to get food since Ana is in no condition to be out and about. I can't believe how normal this feels. I'm not Christian Grey CEO, I'm just christian. I can't believe one person has such a profound effect on me. Elliot and Kate come back with take out containers. Kate has her eyes glued to her phone with her brow furrowed. Ana is the first one to say something about it.

"Kate, what's wrong?" She doesn't say a word just passes Ana the phone. I lean in to see what is on the screen and big as day I find (CHRISTIAN GREY RUSHES SECRET GIRLFRIEND TO THE HOSPITAL.) I instantly become annoyed. Ana doesn't seem fazed by it.

"Ana, I have to go"

"Why?"

"I have to handle this before it gets out of hand. If they know about you, they could come after you." Ray,Kate and Elliot move into the kitchen to give us privacy.

"But they don't know who I am. Honestly, I'm nobody so why would they want to come after me."

"Ana, I don't want them to ever figure out who you are." she no longer looks relaxed and happy, she looks pissed.

"So I'm suppose to be hidden from the world?"

"Ana, it's not like that"

"How is it then? If we're really going to be together they will see me whenever we go on dates, or do you not plan on taking me out."

" please Ana be patient. I just want to keep you safe and out of harms way." In no way am I trying to hide her, but her life is simple and peaceful and if the pressed knew about us that would all be over.

"So I guess lunch tomorrow is out of the question." She says in a low voice.

"We could always have lunch in my office." She just shakes her head.

"It's fine. We could do dinner tomorrow at your place, I'll cook you something special." I can see the disappointment in her big blue eyes, but she tries to hide it. I feel like shit but I honestly have to handle this before it gets out of hand. I give her a small kiss and head out saying my farewells to everyone else.

Apov the next day

I never wanted to punch Jack so bad in my life. He has been rubbing me the wrong way all day. One minute he is basically fucking me with his eyes and the next he's screaming at me for not having his coffee. On top of everything I haven't talked to christian today. Well, we texted but that's not the same. Last night after he left my dad said he completely understands why Christian doesn't want me in the public eye. Elliot said something about someone kidnapping me for ransom and I felt bad for giving him such a hard time. I hear my phone beep and pray it's something from Christian, sadly it's just a text from Evan.

*I wanted to get something greasy and delicious for lunch. Are u in?*

Evan is always fun to be around. Besides we haven't seen each other lately I might as well.

*Sounds perfect. See you in twenty.*

I head into Jack's office and ask if anything needs to be done before I head to lunch. He screams something about wanting a summary on a book I personal can tell by the title is going to be a piece of crap. I sit at my desk and begin to read. I'm on the second page when hands cover my eyes. I freeze for a moment thinking this is the day jack crossed the line, but I turn around and come face to face with Christian.

"What are you doing here?" I don't know how to react; I want to wrap my arms around him but I don't.

"I have a meeting here, but I felt crappy so I was wondering if my wonderful girlfriend could give me a kiss to cheer me up."

"You want a kiss? Here?" He smiles wickedly and I know what's going on.

"Christian , you don't have to do this."

"Ana we're together, and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon, so everyone might as well know now." I'm truly touched. I lean closer to him and place the sweetest of kisses on his lips. He smiles a full blown megawatt smile.

"Well Miss. Steele, that's definitely going to be the high light of my day" I notice the office is deadly quiet. Looking around all eyes are on us. A blush slowly covers my face. Everyone looks at us as if we're some type of rare creatures and I honestly don't understand what the big deal is. I notice Mr. Roach coming our way and have some what of a panic attack. Christian on the other hand doesn't seem fazed.

"Mr. Roach, I'm ready to start the meeting whenever you are." What? Why is Christian meeting with Mr. Roach? I have no time to ask since Christian heads to the conference room after giving me a swift kiss on the cheek. Taylor follows close behind with a smile on his usual serious face. I stand alone in a sea of blank stares from my co workers. I look at my watch and see it's my lunch time. I grab my coat and head out. I walk through the lobby and wave to Clair on my way out the building. As always it's a cold and damp Seattle day, with no signs of the sun anywhere. I just stand in front of the building, feeling like someone is watching me. I look around and see no one. Across the street I notice a car with a woman staring directly at me. Her stare is cold and her scowl is one of pure hate, and it's all directed at me. Realization washes over me in a wave, she's the woman from the garage. What is she doing here? Why is she following me. I want to run bit I can't, I'm frozen by fear. I hear my name off in the distance and notice Evan. He's walking towards me in his scrubs.

"Ana, what's wrong." I turn my head and the car is gone. I think I might finally have gone crazy.

"That woman was just across the street. I think she might be following me." I'm shaking and my eyes dart around looking for her.

"What woman?"

"The one who attacked me."

"You were attacked? Come on, let's get lunch and you can tell me all about it" he pulls me in the direction of a restaurant. I walk with Evan looking over my shoulder, I have no idea if this woman might attack me again. I just wish I knew why she was doing all of this to begin with.


End file.
